Monday, 17 May 2010

Cream soda

As previously mentioned, I am a nonnative English speaker. Despite my relatively proficient English skills, my lack of cultural knowledge etc makes it impossible for me to actually publish anything in English without hiring a translator or consulting someone who could put my words into better words.

In my home country I could not live just by writing. The market just isn't that big. Of course I am not writing because I want to get rich, no, but I'd like to be able to focus on writing and not working another job at the same time.

Also, despite my English being imperfect, I've used English as my tool of self-expression since 2005, and every time I start writing, the language I create the story in is English. I've been trying to go towards my native language, but my brain appears to be tuned on a different frequency.

Anyway, there was also another thing I wanted to write about... Indeed, what to write about? I know I want to write, but I should learn how to write about something. I should have something to say.




Until last year or the year before that I was sure I wanted to write novels. Long and epic. Then I suddenly realised that I can't actually write a novel. At least not as easily. Both my long projects died on page 80something. I call it the 80 page crisis.

Short stories... They are my interest. I don't know if I'm impatient or if I just haven't had the right kind of idea popping in my head, but I want to make things compact rather than overly flowing. I know, writing a good book is something a writer should aim for, but writing a good short story is as good as anything. I want to write short stories.

Anyway, until last year or something I thought I'd like to write science-fiction or fantasy or something a lovechild of Neil Gaiman and Chuck Palahniuk would write. Well, sure, I wouldn't mind if I were able to write things like that, but lately things about everyday things have been popping in my head.

With everyday things I mean... Well, not the most everyday things. Living abroad, coming home, losing hope, losing a romance, going back to your past fears and hopes... I am a past-person. A lot of stuff has happened in the past, and I keep them as my sources of inspiration. Which is a good thing.

Of course, if I had experienced something supernatural, I would use them as my inspiration, but no, that's what imagination is for... Eh. Anyway. I still don't want to be a romance writer. I want to be a writer who writes about things. Touching things, weird things, everyday things, feelings, opinions.

A few years ago I used to write porn. It was a lot of fun, but then I lost the interest, but occasionally I still dream of writing a bunch of dirty stories full of milky thighs and hungry shafts and selling them to magazines. It's a possibility.

Anyway, I need to decide on a theme, and build a collection of short stories around that. I can't just gather different kinds of texts and paste them together and assume that the reader gets something out of it. No. It should be a whole. A selection of stories revolving around the same topic, the same idea or the same point of view.

Topic I realised I have a lot to say about: Home.

Why is that? I've lived abroad, and coming back home has been... well, interesting. In good and bad.

I still like writing about imaginary times and places and peoples. It's the stories that come out easiest. Building a new world where normal rules and history doesn't apply that much. I wouldn't like to write pure science fiction or fantasy, but rather stories that have something "odd" about the world the story happens in.

Just a tiny detail or time frame or the people or the hierarchy or values being a bit off.

But that remains to be seen. First I need to just get the routine going. Write a few few page things per week, and see what kind of stuff comes out.

I need to try the erotica again, though. Writing that stuff is kind of amusing.

The thing is, though, I did write my porn in English. Thinking of body parts in my native tongue is... less erotic.

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